Sunday, September 29, 2013

My Mama Mentor: The Real Housewife of Chaska, Minnesota

Kara Thom: Five Secrets to Life as Super Woman

A tribute to an inspiring woman, Kara Thom. I first met Kara playing the role of babysitter to her four kids (three at the time). I later managed to wiggle my way into an even more prized relationship of hers--I became her running partner. Now I call her my second mom and the rest of her family my second family. I wrote this as an assignment for a class when I was a freshman in college (the first time I was a freshman...), and I thought I'd share it with the rest of the world, or the blog-o-sphere that is, to enlighten others about the unique relationships waiting to be had in life. Kara is now in her forties, and I am just a budding twenty-year-old. We both have interesting perspectives to share, and thus our relationship is one that endures. Read on.

Just ask Revlon! (People Magazine, 2011)

See, even Revlon agrees with me!

Kara Thom: Five Secrets to Life as Super Woman

         You may be thinking, “Super woman—from comic books, right?” Although Superman’s feminine form, Louis Lane, is generally a comic-book favorite, Kara Thom represents a completely different sort “super”, her special powers being that of a published author, triathlete, and mother of four. No, she’s never saved a city from mass destruction, lifted a bus load of people with her bare hands, or found the cure for cancer; instead, it is the way she orchestrates the chaos that is her every day life that leaves people standing in her dust (the dust, of course, being what is kicked up by her jogging stroller as she races by, kid in tow). Now that the famous super hero introduction is properly accounted for, because everyone knows that all the big heroes need a glorified introduction as they flex their muscles and grace the skyline, by looking into Kara’s past comes a better understanding of her present. With introspect into who she is today, us humble folk can learn, too, how to begin to identify the “super” within ourselves. Summed up in the form of five secrets to life as Super woman, in honor of Kara’s third book she co-authored, titled, Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to life as a Fit Mom, let’s hope these secrets give justice to the real housewife of Chaska, Minnesota.
            Kara’s true vocation came to her early in life, but like many, she didn't quite know it at the time. Kara, with the laugh lines hugging her lips ready to erupt in smile, recalls an organic love for the written word in both of its applications: reading and writing. Kara identified with the writing side especially, bringing us to the first secret: recognizing in-born loves. Kara remembers skipping out to her backyard, sitting on the back wall, reading poetry and even writing original works herself. Birthday poems became an expectation among her closest group of friends and at the age of nine, Kara started a journal. This journal’s content rapidly evolved through her teen years, serving as an outlet where she could express her talent of putting words to the emotions of the high seas that are the teenage years, without fear of it ever being judged, or worse, edited. Kara claims the idea of the journal came to her through her education about Anne Frank’s famous journal kept through Nazi war times, and in a way, she was inspired to potentially be the Anne Frank of her generation, without having to experience actual tragedy, of course. The art of writing was also supported by an aunt of hers. This can be noted in the dedication section of Kara’s first book, owing part of her work to her aunt, who always said she should one day write a book.
            Like the typical teenager, Kara spent most of her young life wrapped up in the approval of her friends, and especially that of her parents. When considering this factor, you begin to make sense of the fact that Kara pursued an undergraduate degree in public relations and marketing, per suggestion of her mother, tossing the unsteady paycheck of an author aside. Though she admits that she did harbor resentment about this initially, her background in marketing eventually proved extremely beneficial in getting her to where she is today with her writing career. Making the decision to enroll in graduate school to extend her education in journalism to cover writing as well as editing, marked a crucial choice in Kara’s definition of what kind of woman it was that she wanted to be. With two different degrees under her belt, Kara could now battle a majority of the impracticalities involved in the world of language and writing, highlighting the second secret: a good education is priceless.
           Kara’s degree in journalism helped to strengthen the quality and progression of her writing, so whether she did freelance work or was authoring a book, she knew how to sell it; whereas a lot of authors develop masterpieces that they have no idea how to market and thus their work fails to ink the published page. As mentioned earlier, Kara went into the marketing and public communications degree while acting through her parents’ will, thinking they knew her better than she knew herself. Kara remembers that sometime in her twenties someone said to her that she gets to choose what kind of woman she wants to be. She positively responded to this piece of advice, calling it her “Aha!” moment, when she realized that it was neither her friends nor her family that shaped her, but really Kara herself who had to do the majority of the work. When she discovered this, as “Aha!” moments typically imply, she worked to develop a powerful sense of self, drawing inspirations from her now husband and others in her peer group and essentially founding her new in-born love of racing and competing. Without her education stemming multiple degrees, however, she would not have identified with her genuine sense of self as both an athlete and writer until much later in her lifetime or maybe even never.
         As mentioned earlier, Kara came to discover a passion for racing. Growing up, she was not a lover of ball sports, calling herself “the uncoordinated one” out on the field. She started solo running and racing at the age of twenty three, eventually seeking out various groups of women to run with, but it was these periods of running alone that allowed Kara time to develop an authentic love for the sport. Once she knew for sure that she was a runner, Kara shared many workout partnerships with her “sisters in sweat” who played a part in developing Kara’s identity as an athlete. She describes the people who move her as those who literally move right alongside her, in a motion of friendship built through exercise. Though many of her running partnerships have come to an end over time, largely due to a move across the country, the sweaty bond of sisterhood has proven to be everlasting. Running has also led Kara to uncover the depth of her competitive side. When she was in her prime, Kara would sign herself up for anything from a local 5K to the ultimate endurance event, the Ironman triathlon. Kara has completed multiple road races, marathons, and two Ironmans in her athletic career. Racing competitively, for what is now coming up on twenty years, has forever helped Kara stay disciplined in her habits, forcing her to take care of her body by eating right and getting enough sleep. She also “ran” into her now husband through the sport. Throughout her twenties, Kara focused on her individual identity as both a writer and an athlete, establishing relationships and values through both, making her capable of writing her own name tag, which also happens to be secret number three.
         Any guesses as to if she gave all this up when she became a mom? The answer: no way! When Kara and her husband decided to start a family, Kara became a mother in her mid-thirties.  This was in purposeful contrast to her own mother who had Kara in her early twenties, and it was because of this age difference that Kara fell under the impression that her name tag would never lose its stick and her obvious maturity would aid her in keeping her identity, easily being able to fit motherhood in with everything else in her life. Pregnant with her youngest at forty, Kara, by this time, had learned how to embrace her new career of motherhood, but it wasn't always easy along the way. When Kara and her husband moved from Texas to Minnesota in 2002, Kara was pregnant with her twins and about to become a mother for the first time. When the twins were just twenty months, Kara was sporting a new born (surprise!), leaving her with three babies under the age of two. Whether you’re a veteran mom or just a babysitter, this situation is generally "conceived" as something you, no doubt, surrender your former identity to. With her husband working full-time, Kara felt as if she was rewriting her name tag to read “mom” and occupation to read “motherhood.” Though she considers every child a blessing and wouldn't have it any other way now, in this hectic time Kara was forced to “look motherhood straight in the eyeballs,” or to discover secret number four. She took a sabbatical from her work, temporarily gave up racing, and began to embrace her new identity. Since the move to Minnesota, work centered around freelance, and her three little girls, Kara realized she had not yet found her “village” in her new “Minnesota nice” neighborhood, leaving her feeling like she not only had to reinvent herself, but she had to do it alone, which is the second part to secret number four: finding your “village.” Kara quickly befriended the other stay-at-home moms and by hanging around them learned how to better her own parenting, eventually being able to incorporate writing and racing back into her daily routine. It was when her twins were of age and she decided not to put them in preschool that Kara realized she could do the job of motherhood and do it well. Now eight years since the birth of her twin girls, motherhood is when you find Kara in her most natural habitat.
            It was when Kara began to link all the different parts of her identity together that she stumbled upon secret number five: there is no such thing as balance. Kara transformed the nature of her writing and racing identities to focus on the issues of motherhood, publishing essays and articles with themes of fit pregnancy, the multitasking mama, parenting, and women’s issues. By writing about her every day as a hot (sweaty) mama, a part of the title of her most recent co-authored book, Kara worked her writing career, motherhood, and athletic identity into one convenient package. This level of multitasking genius is the defining reason as to why she is considered worthy the super woman status (it is also perhaps ironic that her three girls dressed up as wonder woman for an ice-skating performance, proving that super powers just may be genetic). There is a downside to having every part of your life synchronized, however, and that becomes apparent when Kara feels the tug of guilt from whatever area she is not presently nurturing. She combats this guilt with secret number five, realizing that if she stops over-working herself for balance in every part of her life she will be much happier in doing what she’s doing, as long as her priorities are straight, of course. Kara compares the struggle for balance to squeezing the balloon: if you compress one end the other overloads, eventually popping and vice versa.
            In the revealing of the five secrets to life as Super women, it is important to note that the super women status is achievable for any and all women willing to abide by the five secrets. Noted by a majority of her peers that have managed to come out on the other side of the motherhood-identity crisis, Kara is just one of many women in her generation who have achieved such super woman notoriety as the atypical housewife. Kara says she owes her lifestyle flexibility to her mother’s generation of women who took charge of the work force when the world asked them to, allowing Kara and her generation the freedom to choose whether to stay at home, work, or even do both without feeling the negative connotations associated with each of these lifestyle choices. Kara says she most definitely considers herself a “people person”, owing a lot of her inspiration to the other moms out on the road, kicking up dust with their jogging strollers.
Epilogue
            When considering that Kara has her own title for me that also aligns with heroic standards, “The Wonder Teen”, one might conclude that we are quite similar. The truth is, I could not juggle the chaos that she does every day, well, at least not right now. Kara defines one of our differences as me having a much more defined sense of self than she did at my age. She claims that her confidence as a teenager was merely portrayed  as an outward shell and that it took a while for it to permeate to her core like it has now, and that she attributes to “the beauty of being over forty.”  This confession surprised me about her, as I have only known her as confident Kara. A task she was forced to face in her twenties, Kara finds herself grappling with the question of what kind of woman it is that she wants to be all over again as she continues to approach the age of fifty with every passing year; whereas, I am still in the process of answering that question the first time around. From Kara I have learned not only that there is no such thing as balance, but also that it is entirely possible to hold on to your original identity through all the turbulence that life has to offer by drawing parallels that connect your passions. I admire Kara for her strength in pursuing what it is that truly makes her happy and for ignoring all the doubters along the way. She is my inspiration.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Seattle First Impressions

If you were to ask me how my new home is treating me, my reply would sound something like this:

    "From the homeless rock star on the street singing for food, to the starving college student majoring in jazz violin and working three jobs, to the envied and working professionals touring a show through the city, the liberal vibe of Seattle is a breeding ground for not the hopeless, but the hopeFUL. Substitute the smell of rotting dreams that one might come across in New York City or Los Angeles with the soft brew of 'Seattle’s Best Coffee' and you're home.
    My days are long and filled with everything I love. The screaming ambulance sirens and breaths of exhaust from semi-trucks passing on the street outside my dorm room window wake me up earlier than my eyes are ready to open six out of seven mornings, but I don’t mind; city living is a game of compromises with BIG rewards.  I’m living in the 7th avenue dorms, the busy dorms, where everything happens. All students and faculty alike are individuals here, each his or her own definition of an artist. In fact, nearly every faculty member, including the janitors, are working elsewhere and living their art in addition to their job at Cornish College of the Arts. People dress how they feel and everyone’s personal aesthetic is vibrant and thriving. Everyone I meet is friendly and open in contrast to the “Minnesota Nice” that reality proves is more accurately titled “Minnesota Passive Aggressive.” Sure there are some catty girls and skater boys, but I’ll run into those and other stereotypes everywhere I go in life. I can officially say that I have indeed found my people. And no, I’m not jumping the gun in my declaration of brotherhood; a week is really all I need. Since I’ve been around the college block once or twice, I know what I like. And I like it here. A lot. 
    My classes are thought-provoking and very right-brained. My teachers have led and are still leading respected careers in the industry. And with a fair majority of them having BROADWAY in bold print on their resumes, let’s just say it's hard NOT to be extremely motivated to pay attention in class. I am taking eighteen credits of dance, acting, improvisation, script analysis, physical technique, yoga, voice, meditation, and singing. What’s not to love? I feel comfortable and welcome among upperclassmen, and I am IN LOVE with my teachers. IN. LOVE. And it’s a college made up of only 800, so a one-on-one coffee date with a professor is basically a given. I feel a sense of pride in my school for the first time. Theater graduates here go on to Yale’s graduate drama program or are WORKING as producers, playwrights, actors and directors, with the lot of them directing their own shows and being cast onto professional stages. I am persistently being encouraged by the faculty to start collaborating with all the artists around me, so I’ve already asked a music composition major to play Rodgers to my Hammerstein and start putting music to the dozens of plays, scenes, sketches, one-acts, and musicals I have birthed through my words. One of my homework assignments was to ready a play, so why not grab all the theater majors within a ten foot radius to read the play aloud and give a unique voice to each character? They’re certainly happy to do it and then I get my homework done.  Win, win. Catch my drift?
    I have not one, count them, but two gay BFF's (I do not, in any way, mean to use this phrase to objectify gay males) who switch roles as the devil and angel standing on my shoulders. They are just two of the many friends I have made here, one of which includes my NORMAL and fellow thespian roommate. I am busy busy busy between school, work, and friends constantly knocking on my door asking if I can come out and play. But at the heart of it all, I am thriving in a company of actors who support me as an individual while collaborating in a beautiful and very alive art.
   Of course my time here hasn’t been perfect, and I quickly became aware that I’m not in never never land (as much as I’d like to be). Even in Seattle, and likely no matter where I go, there are aches and pains to be tended to, life lessons to be learned, and heartaches to be felt. But that’s life, and I am not going to let those things deter me from living it. I can honestly say that I cannot think of a better place to be at this point in my life and I am going to cherish every moment."


That was an excerpt from a journal entry that I logged as of two weeks ago. I do hope you enjoyed the read.  

Update: KATE MOVED ACROSS THE COUNTRY

Notice how in my comical "about me" section it says "double-majoring in musical theater and original works...blah, blah, blah...in Seattle, WA"??? These are not lies! It's true, I have moved across the country (okay, you caught me, only halfway across the states) to study theater at Cornish College of the Arts! My third college in three years, but finally the right choice, no doubt.

Stay tuned to follow my Seattle adventures from wherever you are!

P.S. If you aren't yet clued in about my ADD, then here's your first of many hints: because it is impossible for me to stick to just blogging about fashion alone, this blog will focus on my life and thoughts and everything else I can possibly think of to write about. Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Aha! moments

I am someone who lives for those moments of realization: when everything that was upside down in your world suddenly turns right side up. Revelations, realizations, moments of self-discovery, times when you realize how small you are in the scheme of life but just how big your life could be? Yeah, those are my thing. I'm not someone who forgets those aha! moments right after they happen either. No sir. They stick with me for a looooong time.

Unfortunately, I cannot prescribe aha! moments for those who are in need of them. You see, that's what makes them so aha!-worthy. They absolutely must come from the inner self, unprompted and fully recognized.

I had one of these life-changing revelations just yesterday, actually. I like to think my brain produces these types of powerful thoughts just slightly above what is average for a person. I tend to think this way mostly because I fit the stereotype built around the kind of person who has revelations. I am admittedly of the "deep" variety, I have wild emotions, and I've been said to be creatively inclined. Now I'm not saying this to imply that I live in a continual state of enlightenment (if I did I'd be Buddha by now) or that I don't ever feel blue. I just am someone who fully embraces eye-opening moments because I appreciate them so. much. More often than not, moments like what I am describing have rerouted my life in a positive direction.

My most recent self-discovery has to do with the situation my life has been diluted to for the past two years. Coming out of high school as the "queen bee" of sorts, the transition into college has been less than smooth. Without drowning you in specifics, I realized that what I thought had me on a string, or at least what everyone was telling me was my problem and that I needed to "get over" (yes, "it" happened to be a boy), was really posing as a distraction from a much larger problem that had been plaguing me since the beginning of my venture into the great unknown world of college.

It sounds simple and no, this realization didn't hand over any proven remedies for my "bigger picture" problem, but what it did do is finally cancel out a different emotionally draining issue by pointing out the source of my distress. Now I can redirect my healing resources in a productive direction and that difference in outsourcing alone is a huge help.

Alas, my shoulders carry just a bit lighter of a load than they did a couple of days ago, but I am nonetheless thankful.

I bid you goodnight and I hope an aha! moment comes your way when you need it.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Dress how you want to feel

So this blog is supposed to be about my, so to speak, "passion for fashion." To understand my fashion philosophies, however, is to understand me: I dress how I feel, or more likely, I dress how I want to feel.

Never having been a supporter of the college student's excuse for a wardrobe--sweatpants and a messy bun--I denounce the lazy look not because I have an extra three hours in the morning to primp or because I care more about how I look than I do about my classes or because I have piles of money to spend on a sweatpant-less wardrobe. (And let's get real, I couldn't even pull off the messy bun if I wanted to because of the super fierce short haircut I maintain that requires either a disciplined routine of everyday styling or a hat, which is perfectly acceptable if my bangs are long enough so that covering up my fiery do doesn't make me look like a cancer patient.)

I don't recommend the messy bun and sweatpants look (yoga pants if you're feeling fancy!) matter-of-factly because doing so sets a standard of laziness for the rest of that day, week, or decade...if you're really in a rut. Now I'm not saying I sleep in heels, garden in my little black cocktail dress or dress to whatever other absurd assumptions trail the well dressed minority, but I usually dress to set a standard for how well my day is going to go.

There's some food for thought for your day.




Sunday, March 17, 2013

Life situations...

I know this blog is supposed to be about fashion and other superficial things, but I'm deep by nature so life tidbits will also randomly appear.

I have found as of late that life situations are contagious. Meaning, if you hang around someone who has been down on their luck a lot and searching for more that person could just leave you down on your luck and searching for more...while that person happily runs away with your former bliss and success, especially if that someone is a someone who stole your heart and then crushed it the next day.

Excuse me for a moment while I try to figure how to get everything that made me me back and in working order.


Sunday, March 10, 2013

Stay tuned!

This is totally happening...I just need to get my homework done first, which could take years. IN THE NAME OF FASHION, I WILL get to my first posts soon.