Kara Thom: Five Secrets to Life as Super Woman
A tribute to an inspiring woman, Kara Thom. I first met Kara playing the role of babysitter to her four kids (three at the time). I later managed to wiggle my way into an even more prized relationship of hers--I became her running partner. Now I call her my second mom and the rest of her family my second family. I wrote this as an assignment for a class when I was a freshman in college (the first time I was a freshman...), and I thought I'd share it with the rest of the world, or the blog-o-sphere that is, to enlighten others about the unique relationships waiting to be had in life. Kara is now in her forties, and I am just a budding twenty-year-old. We both have interesting perspectives to share, and thus our relationship is one that endures. Read on.
Just ask Revlon! (People Magazine, 2011)
Kara Thom: Five Secrets to Life as Super Woman
You may be thinking, “Super woman—from comic books, right?” Although Superman’s feminine form, Louis Lane, is generally a comic-book favorite, Kara Thom represents a completely different sort “super”, her special powers being that of a published author, triathlete, and mother of four. No, she’s never saved a city from mass destruction, lifted a bus load of people with her bare hands, or found the cure for cancer; instead, it is the way she orchestrates the chaos that is her every day life that leaves people standing in her dust (the dust, of course, being what is kicked up by her jogging stroller as she races by, kid in tow). Now that the famous super hero introduction is properly accounted for, because everyone knows that all the big heroes need a glorified introduction as they flex their muscles and grace the skyline, by looking into Kara’s past comes a better understanding of her present. With introspect into who she is today, us humble folk can learn, too, how to begin to identify the “super” within ourselves. Summed up in the form of five secrets to life as Super woman, in honor of Kara’s third book she co-authored, titled, Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to life as a Fit Mom, let’s hope these secrets give justice to the real housewife of Chaska, Minnesota.
Kara’s true vocation came to her early in life, but like many, she didn't quite know it at the time. Kara, with the laugh lines hugging her lips ready to erupt in smile, recalls an organic love for the written word in both of its applications: reading and writing. Kara identified with the writing side especially, bringing us to the first secret: recognizing in-born loves. Kara remembers skipping out to her backyard, sitting on the back wall, reading poetry and even writing original works herself. Birthday poems became an expectation among her closest group of friends and at the age of nine, Kara started a journal. This journal’s content rapidly evolved through her teen years, serving as an outlet where she could express her talent of putting words to the emotions of the high seas that are the teenage years, without fear of it ever being judged, or worse, edited. Kara claims the idea of the journal came to her through her education about Anne Frank’s famous journal kept through Nazi war times, and in a way, she was inspired to potentially be the Anne Frank of her generation, without having to experience actual tragedy, of course. The art of writing was also supported by an aunt of hers. This can be noted in the dedication section of Kara’s first book, owing part of her work to her aunt, who always said she should one day write a book.
Like the typical teenager, Kara spent most of her young life wrapped up in the approval of her friends, and especially that of her parents. When considering this factor, you begin to make sense of the fact that Kara pursued an undergraduate degree in public relations and marketing, per suggestion of her mother, tossing the unsteady paycheck of an author aside. Though she admits that she did harbor resentment about this initially, her background in marketing eventually proved extremely beneficial in getting her to where she is today with her writing career. Making the decision to enroll in graduate school to extend her education in journalism to cover writing as well as editing, marked a crucial choice in Kara’s definition of what kind of woman it was that she wanted to be. With two different degrees under her belt, Kara could now battle a majority of the impracticalities involved in the world of language and writing, highlighting the second secret: a good education is priceless.
Kara’s degree in journalism helped to strengthen the quality and progression of her writing, so whether she did freelance work or was authoring a book, she knew how to sell it; whereas a lot of authors develop masterpieces that they have no idea how to market and thus their work fails to ink the published page. As mentioned earlier, Kara went into the marketing and public communications degree while acting through her parents’ will, thinking they knew her better than she knew herself. Kara remembers that sometime in her twenties someone said to her that she gets to choose what kind of woman she wants to be. She positively responded to this piece of advice, calling it her “Aha!” moment, when she realized that it was neither her friends nor her family that shaped her, but really Kara herself who had to do the majority of the work. When she discovered this, as “Aha!” moments typically imply, she worked to develop a powerful sense of self, drawing inspirations from her now husband and others in her peer group and essentially founding her new in-born love of racing and competing. Without her education stemming multiple degrees, however, she would not have identified with her genuine sense of self as both an athlete and writer until much later in her lifetime or maybe even never.
As mentioned earlier, Kara came to discover a passion for racing. Growing up, she was not a lover of ball sports, calling herself “the uncoordinated one” out on the field. She started solo running and racing at the age of twenty three, eventually seeking out various groups of women to run with, but it was these periods of running alone that allowed Kara time to develop an authentic love for the sport. Once she knew for sure that she was a runner, Kara shared many workout partnerships with her “sisters in sweat” who played a part in developing Kara’s identity as an athlete. She describes the people who move her as those who literally move right alongside her, in a motion of friendship built through exercise. Though many of her running partnerships have come to an end over time, largely due to a move across the country, the sweaty bond of sisterhood has proven to be everlasting. Running has also led Kara to uncover the depth of her competitive side. When she was in her prime, Kara would sign herself up for anything from a local 5K to the ultimate endurance event, the Ironman triathlon. Kara has completed multiple road races, marathons, and two Ironmans in her athletic career. Racing competitively, for what is now coming up on twenty years, has forever helped Kara stay disciplined in her habits, forcing her to take care of her body by eating right and getting enough sleep. She also “ran” into her now husband through the sport. Throughout her twenties, Kara focused on her individual identity as both a writer and an athlete, establishing relationships and values through both, making her capable of writing her own name tag, which also happens to be secret number three.
Any guesses as to if she gave all this up when she became a mom? The answer: no way! When Kara and her husband decided to start a family, Kara became a mother in her mid-thirties. This was in purposeful contrast to her own mother who had Kara in her early twenties, and it was because of this age difference that Kara fell under the impression that her name tag would never lose its stick and her obvious maturity would aid her in keeping her identity, easily being able to fit motherhood in with everything else in her life. Pregnant with her youngest at forty, Kara, by this time, had learned how to embrace her new career of motherhood, but it wasn't always easy along the way. When Kara and her husband moved from Texas to Minnesota in 2002, Kara was pregnant with her twins and about to become a mother for the first time. When the twins were just twenty months, Kara was sporting a new born (surprise!), leaving her with three babies under the age of two. Whether you’re a veteran mom or just a babysitter, this situation is generally "conceived" as something you, no doubt, surrender your former identity to. With her husband working full-time, Kara felt as if she was rewriting her name tag to read “mom” and occupation to read “motherhood.” Though she considers every child a blessing and wouldn't have it any other way now, in this hectic time Kara was forced to “look motherhood straight in the eyeballs,” or to discover secret number four. She took a sabbatical from her work, temporarily gave up racing, and began to embrace her new identity. Since the move to Minnesota, work centered around freelance, and her three little girls, Kara realized she had not yet found her “village” in her new “Minnesota nice” neighborhood, leaving her feeling like she not only had to reinvent herself, but she had to do it alone, which is the second part to secret number four: finding your “village.” Kara quickly befriended the other stay-at-home moms and by hanging around them learned how to better her own parenting, eventually being able to incorporate writing and racing back into her daily routine. It was when her twins were of age and she decided not to put them in preschool that Kara realized she could do the job of motherhood and do it well. Now eight years since the birth of her twin girls, motherhood is when you find Kara in her most natural habitat.
It was when Kara began to link all the different parts of her identity together that she stumbled upon secret number five: there is no such thing as balance. Kara transformed the nature of her writing and racing identities to focus on the issues of motherhood, publishing essays and articles with themes of fit pregnancy, the multitasking mama, parenting, and women’s issues. By writing about her every day as a hot (sweaty) mama, a part of the title of her most recent co-authored book, Kara worked her writing career, motherhood, and athletic identity into one convenient package. This level of multitasking genius is the defining reason as to why she is considered worthy the super woman status (it is also perhaps ironic that her three girls dressed up as wonder woman for an ice-skating performance, proving that super powers just may be genetic). There is a downside to having every part of your life synchronized, however, and that becomes apparent when Kara feels the tug of guilt from whatever area she is not presently nurturing. She combats this guilt with secret number five, realizing that if she stops over-working herself for balance in every part of her life she will be much happier in doing what she’s doing, as long as her priorities are straight, of course. Kara compares the struggle for balance to squeezing the balloon: if you compress one end the other overloads, eventually popping and vice versa.
In the revealing of the five secrets to life as Super women, it is important to note that the super women status is achievable for any and all women willing to abide by the five secrets. Noted by a majority of her peers that have managed to come out on the other side of the motherhood-identity crisis, Kara is just one of many women in her generation who have achieved such super woman notoriety as the atypical housewife. Kara says she owes her lifestyle flexibility to her mother’s generation of women who took charge of the work force when the world asked them to, allowing Kara and her generation the freedom to choose whether to stay at home, work, or even do both without feeling the negative connotations associated with each of these lifestyle choices. Kara says she most definitely considers herself a “people person”, owing a lot of her inspiration to the other moms out on the road, kicking up dust with their jogging strollers.
Epilogue
When considering that Kara has her own title for me that also aligns with heroic standards, “The Wonder Teen”, one might conclude that we are quite similar. The truth is, I could not juggle the chaos that she does every day, well, at least not right now. Kara defines one of our differences as me having a much more defined sense of self than she did at my age. She claims that her confidence as a teenager was merely portrayed as an outward shell and that it took a while for it to permeate to her core like it has now, and that she attributes to “the beauty of being over forty.” This confession surprised me about her, as I have only known her as confident Kara. A task she was forced to face in her twenties, Kara finds herself grappling with the question of what kind of woman it is that she wants to be all over again as she continues to approach the age of fifty with every passing year; whereas, I am still in the process of answering that question the first time around. From Kara I have learned not only that there is no such thing as balance, but also that it is entirely possible to hold on to your original identity through all the turbulence that life has to offer by drawing parallels that connect your passions. I admire Kara for her strength in pursuing what it is that truly makes her happy and for ignoring all the doubters along the way. She is my inspiration.
Just ask Revlon! (People Magazine, 2011)
Kara Thom: Five Secrets to Life as Super Woman
You may be thinking, “Super woman—from comic books, right?” Although Superman’s feminine form, Louis Lane, is generally a comic-book favorite, Kara Thom represents a completely different sort “super”, her special powers being that of a published author, triathlete, and mother of four. No, she’s never saved a city from mass destruction, lifted a bus load of people with her bare hands, or found the cure for cancer; instead, it is the way she orchestrates the chaos that is her every day life that leaves people standing in her dust (the dust, of course, being what is kicked up by her jogging stroller as she races by, kid in tow). Now that the famous super hero introduction is properly accounted for, because everyone knows that all the big heroes need a glorified introduction as they flex their muscles and grace the skyline, by looking into Kara’s past comes a better understanding of her present. With introspect into who she is today, us humble folk can learn, too, how to begin to identify the “super” within ourselves. Summed up in the form of five secrets to life as Super woman, in honor of Kara’s third book she co-authored, titled, Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to life as a Fit Mom, let’s hope these secrets give justice to the real housewife of Chaska, Minnesota.
Kara’s true vocation came to her early in life, but like many, she didn't quite know it at the time. Kara, with the laugh lines hugging her lips ready to erupt in smile, recalls an organic love for the written word in both of its applications: reading and writing. Kara identified with the writing side especially, bringing us to the first secret: recognizing in-born loves. Kara remembers skipping out to her backyard, sitting on the back wall, reading poetry and even writing original works herself. Birthday poems became an expectation among her closest group of friends and at the age of nine, Kara started a journal. This journal’s content rapidly evolved through her teen years, serving as an outlet where she could express her talent of putting words to the emotions of the high seas that are the teenage years, without fear of it ever being judged, or worse, edited. Kara claims the idea of the journal came to her through her education about Anne Frank’s famous journal kept through Nazi war times, and in a way, she was inspired to potentially be the Anne Frank of her generation, without having to experience actual tragedy, of course. The art of writing was also supported by an aunt of hers. This can be noted in the dedication section of Kara’s first book, owing part of her work to her aunt, who always said she should one day write a book.
Like the typical teenager, Kara spent most of her young life wrapped up in the approval of her friends, and especially that of her parents. When considering this factor, you begin to make sense of the fact that Kara pursued an undergraduate degree in public relations and marketing, per suggestion of her mother, tossing the unsteady paycheck of an author aside. Though she admits that she did harbor resentment about this initially, her background in marketing eventually proved extremely beneficial in getting her to where she is today with her writing career. Making the decision to enroll in graduate school to extend her education in journalism to cover writing as well as editing, marked a crucial choice in Kara’s definition of what kind of woman it was that she wanted to be. With two different degrees under her belt, Kara could now battle a majority of the impracticalities involved in the world of language and writing, highlighting the second secret: a good education is priceless.
Kara’s degree in journalism helped to strengthen the quality and progression of her writing, so whether she did freelance work or was authoring a book, she knew how to sell it; whereas a lot of authors develop masterpieces that they have no idea how to market and thus their work fails to ink the published page. As mentioned earlier, Kara went into the marketing and public communications degree while acting through her parents’ will, thinking they knew her better than she knew herself. Kara remembers that sometime in her twenties someone said to her that she gets to choose what kind of woman she wants to be. She positively responded to this piece of advice, calling it her “Aha!” moment, when she realized that it was neither her friends nor her family that shaped her, but really Kara herself who had to do the majority of the work. When she discovered this, as “Aha!” moments typically imply, she worked to develop a powerful sense of self, drawing inspirations from her now husband and others in her peer group and essentially founding her new in-born love of racing and competing. Without her education stemming multiple degrees, however, she would not have identified with her genuine sense of self as both an athlete and writer until much later in her lifetime or maybe even never.
As mentioned earlier, Kara came to discover a passion for racing. Growing up, she was not a lover of ball sports, calling herself “the uncoordinated one” out on the field. She started solo running and racing at the age of twenty three, eventually seeking out various groups of women to run with, but it was these periods of running alone that allowed Kara time to develop an authentic love for the sport. Once she knew for sure that she was a runner, Kara shared many workout partnerships with her “sisters in sweat” who played a part in developing Kara’s identity as an athlete. She describes the people who move her as those who literally move right alongside her, in a motion of friendship built through exercise. Though many of her running partnerships have come to an end over time, largely due to a move across the country, the sweaty bond of sisterhood has proven to be everlasting. Running has also led Kara to uncover the depth of her competitive side. When she was in her prime, Kara would sign herself up for anything from a local 5K to the ultimate endurance event, the Ironman triathlon. Kara has completed multiple road races, marathons, and two Ironmans in her athletic career. Racing competitively, for what is now coming up on twenty years, has forever helped Kara stay disciplined in her habits, forcing her to take care of her body by eating right and getting enough sleep. She also “ran” into her now husband through the sport. Throughout her twenties, Kara focused on her individual identity as both a writer and an athlete, establishing relationships and values through both, making her capable of writing her own name tag, which also happens to be secret number three.
Any guesses as to if she gave all this up when she became a mom? The answer: no way! When Kara and her husband decided to start a family, Kara became a mother in her mid-thirties. This was in purposeful contrast to her own mother who had Kara in her early twenties, and it was because of this age difference that Kara fell under the impression that her name tag would never lose its stick and her obvious maturity would aid her in keeping her identity, easily being able to fit motherhood in with everything else in her life. Pregnant with her youngest at forty, Kara, by this time, had learned how to embrace her new career of motherhood, but it wasn't always easy along the way. When Kara and her husband moved from Texas to Minnesota in 2002, Kara was pregnant with her twins and about to become a mother for the first time. When the twins were just twenty months, Kara was sporting a new born (surprise!), leaving her with three babies under the age of two. Whether you’re a veteran mom or just a babysitter, this situation is generally "conceived" as something you, no doubt, surrender your former identity to. With her husband working full-time, Kara felt as if she was rewriting her name tag to read “mom” and occupation to read “motherhood.” Though she considers every child a blessing and wouldn't have it any other way now, in this hectic time Kara was forced to “look motherhood straight in the eyeballs,” or to discover secret number four. She took a sabbatical from her work, temporarily gave up racing, and began to embrace her new identity. Since the move to Minnesota, work centered around freelance, and her three little girls, Kara realized she had not yet found her “village” in her new “Minnesota nice” neighborhood, leaving her feeling like she not only had to reinvent herself, but she had to do it alone, which is the second part to secret number four: finding your “village.” Kara quickly befriended the other stay-at-home moms and by hanging around them learned how to better her own parenting, eventually being able to incorporate writing and racing back into her daily routine. It was when her twins were of age and she decided not to put them in preschool that Kara realized she could do the job of motherhood and do it well. Now eight years since the birth of her twin girls, motherhood is when you find Kara in her most natural habitat.
It was when Kara began to link all the different parts of her identity together that she stumbled upon secret number five: there is no such thing as balance. Kara transformed the nature of her writing and racing identities to focus on the issues of motherhood, publishing essays and articles with themes of fit pregnancy, the multitasking mama, parenting, and women’s issues. By writing about her every day as a hot (sweaty) mama, a part of the title of her most recent co-authored book, Kara worked her writing career, motherhood, and athletic identity into one convenient package. This level of multitasking genius is the defining reason as to why she is considered worthy the super woman status (it is also perhaps ironic that her three girls dressed up as wonder woman for an ice-skating performance, proving that super powers just may be genetic). There is a downside to having every part of your life synchronized, however, and that becomes apparent when Kara feels the tug of guilt from whatever area she is not presently nurturing. She combats this guilt with secret number five, realizing that if she stops over-working herself for balance in every part of her life she will be much happier in doing what she’s doing, as long as her priorities are straight, of course. Kara compares the struggle for balance to squeezing the balloon: if you compress one end the other overloads, eventually popping and vice versa.
In the revealing of the five secrets to life as Super women, it is important to note that the super women status is achievable for any and all women willing to abide by the five secrets. Noted by a majority of her peers that have managed to come out on the other side of the motherhood-identity crisis, Kara is just one of many women in her generation who have achieved such super woman notoriety as the atypical housewife. Kara says she owes her lifestyle flexibility to her mother’s generation of women who took charge of the work force when the world asked them to, allowing Kara and her generation the freedom to choose whether to stay at home, work, or even do both without feeling the negative connotations associated with each of these lifestyle choices. Kara says she most definitely considers herself a “people person”, owing a lot of her inspiration to the other moms out on the road, kicking up dust with their jogging strollers.
Epilogue
When considering that Kara has her own title for me that also aligns with heroic standards, “The Wonder Teen”, one might conclude that we are quite similar. The truth is, I could not juggle the chaos that she does every day, well, at least not right now. Kara defines one of our differences as me having a much more defined sense of self than she did at my age. She claims that her confidence as a teenager was merely portrayed as an outward shell and that it took a while for it to permeate to her core like it has now, and that she attributes to “the beauty of being over forty.” This confession surprised me about her, as I have only known her as confident Kara. A task she was forced to face in her twenties, Kara finds herself grappling with the question of what kind of woman it is that she wants to be all over again as she continues to approach the age of fifty with every passing year; whereas, I am still in the process of answering that question the first time around. From Kara I have learned not only that there is no such thing as balance, but also that it is entirely possible to hold on to your original identity through all the turbulence that life has to offer by drawing parallels that connect your passions. I admire Kara for her strength in pursuing what it is that truly makes her happy and for ignoring all the doubters along the way. She is my inspiration.
